Stop trying to figure it out.

It’s a form of control.
I would know…I’m a control freak (recovering of course).

See I used to think making sense of it would help me breakthrough it.

But I was only delaying the breakthrough.

Because the breakthrough comes when you simply let go.

You let go of trying to make sense of it.
Because you realize your time and attention are better served elsewhere.

And even that is a hard place to get to…I get it.
Because I used to stay stuck in that area too for quite some time.

I thought if I truly believed my time and energy were served elsewhere that showed God I didn’t want it.
So I’d hold on….TIGHT.
And that only blocked me from receiving what I wanted.

Because I was clinging to the idea that it was MY JOB to figure it out, FIX IT, MAKE SENSE OF IT and perhaps even TEACH someone else where to go, what to do, what to say and how to do it.

It wasn’t my job.

It’s not yours either.

You see these are all just unidentifiable symtoms of control.
Thinking we need to teach everyone.
Thinking we need to show them the way.
Thinking we need to explain how to do it.
Thinking we need to make sense of it in our brain.

But every single time I reached this place of clinging….I was controlling and never realized it.

Luckily I would tire myself out.
I’m stopping you before you reach that point because I’m a Scorpio…I don’t tire easily. In fact I could deep dive for years…AND I HAVE.

I’ve held onto situations and people for YEARS sometimes trying to make sense of it.

So now you can save yourself the time and just realize that the moment you ACCEPT what is…what is changes.

I’ve told you that before.
Let it go.
Accept it…even though it makes no sense.

Yesterday I was sitting on an airplane still parked at the gate for 20 minutes and then the captain came on and said, “We apologize for the inconvenience but we are delayed right now due to some paperwork problems. We need to make sure we’re legal to fly.”

LEGAL TO FLY??? I thought to myself. F that…like WHAT does that even mean. Is that code for the plane is broken?

Every single person on that flight became concerned because the captain’s voice was a little shaky.
Another 30 minutes pass and a flight attendant gets on to say, “We don’t have any new updates for you, we’re still delayed as we figure out with the maintenance crew if we’re legal to fly.”

UMMMMM…a little more disconcerting.
So as my heart started to race and the flight attendant mumbled on,
“If you’d like to deplane and not fly with us please do so now.”

I sat there in my seat with my heart pounding and my headphones in saying in my head,

“OK God…this isn’t funny. I don’t mind flying but now you’re kind of making it an uncomfortable experience. I’m totally uneasy and I don’t like this one bit.”
Then I took a deep breath and thought…well I could get off the plane OR I could just accept that this is for some reason bigger than me and breathe through it.

We had waited over an hour and the minute I took a deep breath and told myself, “Ok whatever I’ll just deal with whatever this is.” BOOM…captain popped on and said, “We are all signed off now and ready to fly.”

Cool….so maybe it was a test for me personally in that moment to just like deal with whatever God placed in my path.

Maybe there was something else larger happening too.
Who the f&ck knows…point is…it wasn’t my job to know. It was my job to accept it because I knew deep down God wasn’t going to give me anything I personally couldn’t handle.

The situation was out of my hands.

I couldn’t control the captain or maintenance crew.
I couldn’t control time.
I didn’t necessarily want to leave the plane either.
So I let it go.
I stopped trying to control any aspect of it and just accepted it. And the moment I did…it changed.

Had I not done so…the situation would have controlled me.
I would have gotten more anxious, more scared and panicked…all for what?
We finally got off the ground and I landed safely at home.

So had I attempted to control ANYTHING…it would have controlled me and in the end you see….it all worked out for me and I didn’t have to torture my mind, body or spirit in the process because I simply just said…ok…it is what it is.