I once was an angry girl…
They called me Angry Amy.
They asked why I didn’t speak.
They asked why I looked so sad and lonely.
Because I was.
I had to be.
No one was there for me,
the way I needed them to be.
They did the best they could,
but I didn’t have a healthy environment.
I didn’t have unconditional love.
I had one way streets.
I once was an angry girl…
Because I didn’t have a voice.
Because I didn’t know how to.
I wasn’t allowed to.
I once was an angry girl…
Who yelled to speak.
Who couldn’t communicate.
Who was tormented by a lack of awareness and understanding.
I once was an angry girl…
Because I had no support.
I didn’t know how to ask.
They didn’t know how to listen nor help.
I once was an angry girl…
Who let her emotions out through yelling and screaming;
through abuse, manipulation because of all the suppressing.
I once was an angry girl…
Because they couldn’t support themselves,
so how would they support me mentally or emotionally.
Emotionally they were reactive.
They didn’t understand. They couldn’t see.
I once was an angry girl…
Who tried but failed
to love herself
because she wasn’t shown she was able.
I once was an angry girl…
Until I learned I was capable.
I once was an angry girl…
But now I’m happy
because all that anger was,
was misguided passion.
My passion for love and understanding
was sparked by the conditional love around me.
My happiness now came from realizing,
that in-spite of the conditions,
I can still be happy.
I can support me.
I can ask for things.
I’m allowed to have what it is I’m wanting.
My anger then, was due to limitations
being placed on me from outside entities.
Their limitations were not mine to take on,
but I took them unknowingly
because I had to survive.
And one day I decided ‘No More’.
One day I decided to set myself free.
One day I woke up and awakened
to the God within me.
The power. The Source. The inside entity,
that was directing me towards love
inspite of everything.
To set yourself free
you must remember one thing,
the power you seek is not beyond you
but rather in the pain you reap.
Get angry, it’s okay.
Let them even call you names.
From that anger you will find
a love so deep right inside.
A love you won’t need to hide
even from those who once told you lies.
A love that supports, respects, accepts and allows
everything you want for yourself in this life.
I once was an angry girl…
And I wouldn’t go back and change that at all.
Not the upbringing or the nickname or the pain I felt.
Being that angry girl has allowed me to turn
into a powerful and strong woman inside.
alf.
